Grit & Glory

Women with Uncommon Fortitude

2 Corinthians 4:8-9, NLT

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed but not driven to despair.  We are hunted down but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. 

While this post is specifically about my mother and my sister, I dedicate this to all of the countless women who are pressed on every side yet remain determined and undeterred. I celebrate you not only this Women’s History Month, but every day. YOU ARE AWESOME!

This month’s blog is dedicated to the two women who have inspired me most. My mother, Bernice and my sister, Sharon. Often people marvel at my resilience. I always point them back to Bernice and Sharon. I watched them rise to every challenge and reinvent themselves along the way. In my eyes, they have been the most incredible role models in my life.

Bernice was a fighter. My mom did not take no for an answer. When the city decided to close the bridge on our street creating two dead ends, she fought back. Mommy did her research and learned exactly how many minutes the Fire Department would be delayed if they had to divert their path to get to our block in case of fire. She persuaded a neighbor to join her cause and went door-to-door to explain the hazard to everyone who would listen and had them sign a petition. She attended every town hall, persisted in getting appointments with city officials and within six months, the city began not repairing, but constructing a new bridge. That’s who she was – a champion for justice and she got it done – hell or high water. I learned to stick to it and get it done watching her.

My mother’s love for justice compelled her to spend the greater part of her life active in the NAACP. She served on the local Life Membership Committee. She had a knack for connecting with people. I have no idea how many people she recruited, but I’d guess it was hundreds. Her diligence eventually led her to chair the Life Membership   Committee and ultimately become a Regional Director for Life Membership. I learned to be committed from watching her.

Mommy was 47 years old when my dad died. She literally had no idea how to manage money or pay bills. I found her crying one day over a Master Card bill. I believe the bill was about $347. She was crying because she didn’t have all the money to pay for it. I explained the concept of revolving credit, I think I was 18. What I saw in my mom from that moment on was a determination to learn everything she could about money and how it worked. She not only learned to manage her money, but she also learned about real estate, stocks and bonds and left her children a legacy. I learned that it’s never too late to change, learn, or earn watching her.

Of course, Sharon, my sister, had an excellent role model in my mom. So much so, that resilience has been her second nature. She married and became a mother before she was twenty. As with many newlyweds, the fantasy of the house with the white picket fence soon became an ugly reality. After 10 years of marriage, she found herself a divorced, solo parent. Almost immediately after separating from her husband and moving into a new home, the company where she was employed decided to permanently shut their doors. She was devastated, I’m sure. However, she did what any divorced mother of a nine-year-old son would do. She dried her tears and began a stint at the Kelly temporary employment agency.

Kelly Girls were easy to employ, but she found herself in a dilemma. There was a job that paid an extremely high hourly rate that no one wanted to take on. She could use the money during this transition, but did she dare work at a truck stop? Truck stops did not have the reputation of being a safe or savory environment for women. Nevertheless, under the circumstance, she accepted the assignment. Well, long story short, her time at the truck stop lasted almost 35 years. She learned the trucking business from the ground up. Learned to drive a big rig. Met her husband, started a company, Western Transportation. She and her husband worked with General Mills, Nabisco, Kraft Food and dozens of well-known companies. Owned over 100 pieces of equipment. Employed many, including me from time to time. She became Inc. Magazine’s first African American Female Entrepreneur of the Year. She was an active voice in the New Jersey Women’s Business Owners Association. She has helped countless others through hardships and if anyone was willing, shared with them all she knew about achieving success in business.

My sister retired a few years ago. After working so hard for over thirty years, you would think she’d sit down with her feet up and take it all in. Not! She moved from trucks to make-up and jewelry (Mary Kay and Parklane Jewelry). She studied electronics. She became a court advocate for domestic violence victims, while being an active board member for a non-profit. My sister also trained for and ran her first 5K. I’ve got a feeling this is just the beginning. From watching her I learned how to take lemons and make lemonade. I learned that if you have life, you can create opportunity and finally, I am only one idea away from reinvention.

I salute my mother, Bernice and my sister, Sharon this Women’s History Month. You personify steel-magnolias. Thank you for always being fire and ice. For never, ever allowing yourselves to be defeated, but always forging new ground… even through your tears. I’ve learned from you that giants do die. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.